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Here's some advice for all the men out there:
Listen up you gross hairy bag of farts -
1- First things first, on June 14 Thursday night you're gonna surprise your lady with a bouquet of flowers when she gets home from work.
2-Before she even has a chance to thank you you're gonna ask her to put on a nice dress because you're taking her to that fancy restaurant she likes so much on Main Street in Manayunk.
3-You order her whatever she wants, and during dinner you put the napkin on your lap and you chew with your mouth CLOSED like a freakin' gentleman.
4- When the waitress asks you if you want dessert you chuckle to yourself and POLITELY say "no thanks"
5 - Then you bring your Goddess of a significant other to the Moon Dawg Sundaes tent where you buy her a fried ice cream so delicious she almost forgets about the centuries of patriarchy and oppression she has felt simply for being the smarter, more beautiful gender.
6- Tell all your buddies to do the same then repeat until we live in a better, happier society.